ALERT: This post may contain spoilers of The Bone Carver (The Night Weaver #2). That said: If you currently find yourself in a situation where you think you may have a stalker or you’re curious about stalkers in general for safety reasons … Screw the book. READ THIS POST. Your safety is far more important to me than a possible spoiler.
With The Bone Carver finally released, I thought I’d delve deeper into the twisted psychology of the villain in this book. Yes, I’ve gleaned over what inspired my villain before, but I didn’t quite get into the nitty-gritty details because … phew! The research will take you to some truly disturbing places on the internet. What’s more: The Bone Carver’s brain is a minefield I had to tone down for a Young Adult audience. So, a lot of what you’ll read in the actual book is surface stuff. I mean, it’s a YA book, so it has to be kind of kid-friendly, you know?
Nevertheless, I know there are some readers who may be interested in learning more about certain aspects of the villain and how his behaviour relates to real life. Because yes, these things do actually happen in real life and I want you, my wonderful readers, to be as safe as possible.
Don’t worry, I’m gonna tone things down a lot so you get the facts and not the gore. 😊 I’m also going to keep this as spoiler-free as possible, but I can’t promise things won’t slip through.
The Most Common Types of Stalkers
So, we all know what stalkers are, right? The stereotypical idea of what a stalker is usually makes us think of someone who’s kind of always lurking around, following people IRL and online, sending creepy notes and gifts to the person they’ve got their eye on, etc.
According to Psychology Today: “An estimated 12 to 16 percent of women, and 4 to 7 percent of men, will be stalked in their lifetime.”
That’s a whole lot of stalking happening, in my opinion. What’s worse is that the internet’s made things hella easy for the weirdest people to keep track of you (although, the same abovementioned article admits the statistics for cyberstalking seems lower than expected). I mean, we all do a little bit of cyberstalking once in a while by checking out an actor’s social media profile because you think he/she is top tier hawt. Or maybe you’re just checking on an ex to make sure you did dodge a bullet. It happens to the best of us.
There’s a fine line between liking someone and becoming obsessed with a person to the point of harming them and it’s a line that definitely shouldn’t be crossed …
Stalking Risk Profile says: “It is clear that although stalking cases often look similar on the surface and involve the same kinds of behaviours, the reasons that people engage in stalking are complex and varied.”
This begs the question: What types of stalkers are out there?
- The “Rejected” Stalker – This type of stalker is usually an ex-friend/lover/acquaintance who just can’t accept you’re not that into them anymore. The initial motivation for these types of stalkers are usually to try and reconcile the relationship or to get revenge for what is perceived as a rejection. In other words, remember how coincidental it was that you saw “Mary” at the zoo the other day and she just looked surprised and waved at you? Remember how Mary then showed up at the same church you attend, even though you know she’s not Catholic? Then your other friends show you a passive aggressive Tweet she made relating to something you recently said on your Twitter profile after you’ve already blocked her? Well, it’s possible Mary is feeling rejected and she’s now stalking you …
- The “Love Obsessed” Stalker – This type of stalking happens in the context of seeking a relationship and can target strangers or acquaintances. The “love obsessed” stalker is frequently someone who exhibits inappropriate social skills which typically hamper their ability to establish a normal relationship. What makes them different to “Erotomania” stalkers (discussed below) is that they don’t display signs of delusions. They merely seek a connection of some kind. On the upside, the “love obsessed” stalker usually only stalk for brief periods of time.
- The “Revenge” Stalker – This type of stalker is kind of self-explanatory. They’ve decided that you have mistreated them in some way, shape, or form and now they’re out to get even for the injustice or humiliation they’ve experienced. According to The Telegraph: “They tend to have a non-intimate relationship with the victim.” More often than not, this type of stalker presents themselves as the victim to justify their stalking.
- The “Erotomania” Stalker – Do you know a casual acquaintance, or have you noticed a loner who’s been making googly eyes at you more often than is acceptable? Okay, has it turned into borderline harassment? Well, this type of stalking results from the stalker’s misperception of an intimate relationship with the victim. These types of stalkers’ behavior is usually due to mental illness in which they have delusions of (more often than not) a romantic relationship with their victim.
- The “Predatory” Stalker – This is the most dangerous type of stalker, in my opinion. The “predatory” stalker is usually associated with sexual deviancy. They stalk because they get some sexual gratification out of the act. Sometimes, they stalk because of the power and control they have over their victim, enjoying the fear it produces.
It should be noted that there are sometimes overlapping between the categories of stalkers.
How Does Stalking Relate to The Bone Carver?
In The Bone Carver, I decided to kind of mix up all of the abovementioned stalking behaviors during my writing process, in order to build the ultimate creep to get under my protagonist’s skin. I did tone down the “Predatory” stalkers’ typical traits (especially in regards to the sexual deviancy) because this is a YA novel, but if you’ve read the book, you’ll notice I used some elements of that particular category, too.
The reason for doing this—aside from the obvious psychological horror-factor—is because stalking is more common than we want to believe it is. Victims often experience long-term mental trauma as a result of both unwanted in-person stalking and cyberstalking, which can have severe negative consequences.
The #MeToo movement did bring to light the severity of sexual harassment and assault against women, but how does one deal with complaints of stalking? What is stalking anyway? Well, there’s actually still an ongoing debate as to what constitutes as stalking behavior in general. Laws vary from place to place. And sometimes it’s difficult to get help from authorities for victims until it’s too late.
I find it a tad too scary that there are still debates over what stalking is and how, in some places, people can’t be protected because one law defines the act of violating someone’s privacy differently than another law. I hate that some people may feel unsafe because someone’s decided to make their lives hell by lurking in the shadows. And that’s why I wrote The Bone Carver.
What to do if you’re being Stalked
While you absolute, positively should NOT confront a stalker directly, it is advised by Kris Mohandie—a stalking expert and police psychologist—to NOT ignore a stalker in the hopes that they’ll go away. They won’t. Plain and simple. Mohandie does, however, recommends the following steps for you to take:
- Be alert and proactive to protect yourself from the possible threat;
- Avoid all contact;
- Enhance security measures in your life (make sure you have locks on your doors, alarms around the house and security cameras);
- Inform key people in your life of the potential threat.
- Save and document all messages, voicemails, letters, and cards;
- Photograph and document things that are damaged and quickly get that information to law enforcement so that police can begin to intervene in the process.
Stalking is a crime and it should be treated as such. If you need further assistance or information, please do check out the following links:
Remember, in an emergency, always call 911 (or the emergency response number of your region).
Be vigilant and stay safe out there.
Love ya,
Monique
